Regrets #2
I love animals. I adore them to death. But too much love and carelessness kill.
I went with my parents to visit my father’s sister when I was 11 years old. My aunt had a rice farm and her husband would often catch a lot of birds who tried to eat the rice seeds in his net trap. He caught a lot that day we visit and saw how much I adore them. So he gave one to me.
My mother glance at the big bird cradled in my arms and say with a scornful face, “She won’t eat that.”
My uncle just laugh and handed 5 more for my parents for dinner.
I was happy and determined to tame the bird, make it understand that I’m a friend.
I never let go of it. I hugged it on the bus on the way back home.
In my excitement, I hugged tighter than I should, not knowing how fragile it was. I killed the with my own hands in the most horrible way. I squeezed the poor bird to death. I felt awful because I only wanted to hug it not cut out the oxygen from its lung and until its insides were out.
The people around me thought it was hilarious. My mother still laughs at it when she remembers. But just as that time, all I feel to do was cry and beg the poor bird for forgiveness. I didn’t have a relation to it yet, but it didn’t deserve to die in such a cruel way.
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Hugs.
Jessica / Jessie
Jessica / Jessie Winterspring is a time travel romance fanatic who loves writing fiction about ordinary people with extraordinary experiences. She blogs music inspired stories, poems, micro-fictions, moments in life. She enjoy spending time outdoors, adore animals and traveling with her family. She like anything unusual and fun. CLICK HERE to read more about her or CLICK HERE to view her books
47 Comments
aruna3
Dear Jessica !! That bird was killed unknowingly by you to save that’s life.please ,don’t regret on it.your post tells -how much you are emotional and sensitive.sending you a big hug and love from India
buddy71
You were young and didn’t know. So let it go. You learned a lesson and that is the moral of your experience.
Jessica E. Larsen
I sure did learn from it. Simply want to share the experience
buddy71
nothing
I got almost the same experience that traumatized me until today … never forgotten it …
Felt your pain, girl …
This scars you much …
Jessica E. Larsen
Yes, it truly is traumatizing. Especially when your own family can’t seem to understand your pain. Even when you get over it, it scars
aruna3
Oh so sad.i can not bear to kill any bird or animal,dear Jessica!!
Jessica E. Larsen
I can’t either. Not consciously. This one was a pure accident but still hurts like hell when it happened
aruna3
Yeah.that was an accident,i know.when that is happened then you were most younger.don’t worry.in childhood,we make many mistakes but nobody blame to child.please , feel relaxed.
Jessica E. Larsen
Thanks Aruna… but I’ve fine for a long time. I just wanted to share it
aruna3
Okay my dear Jessica !! It is my pleasure
aruna3
Okay,my dear!!bless you.
aruna3
That time you were a youngest child.don’t worry.
Jim Borden
Such a sad story, but it certainly was not intentional. Reminds me a bit of the story about Lennie in the story Mice and Men.
Jessica E. Larsen
Thanks Jim! And for mentioning the story. I did some search and the book sounds interesting. Adding it to my TBR
Jim Borden
The book is considered a classic, at least in the US.
Jessica E. Larsen
So I’ve read from Wikipedia
The V Pub
I can imagine your sadness over this. But your heart is not cruel, and accidents do happen. Do not be hard on yourself.
Jessica E. Larsen
Thanks Rob <3 I no longer beat myself over it, the memory just hurts sometimes :)
Simon
Oh this was the cat that crushed that bird
I was so serious reading it then I saw the cat 
I’m sorry I can’t control laughing at it 
. I feel guilty for crushing a little chicken once in my car 
I almost had that tears and I controlled it as much I can to mend in with society (ego)
But it’s nobody’s fault when we are not aware of what we are doing
Let it go…, plus – a true bird lover will never keep birds with themselves 
Jessica E. Larsen
Simon
Jessica E. Larsen
I am letting it go. Now you let go.
)
Thanks for being so fun Simon. Have a great afternoon (I think
Simon
I let it go… Just now… What sound was that
Oh I get it… That was um….
I’m not saying that 
Have a lovely night
Jessica E. Larsen
Oh my god
How dare you creep me out in the comment! Save that for the stories. Say it before my imagination runs wild! 
Simon
Ha ha
Thanks , I was thinking something funny 
not to scare you
Jessica E. Larsen
Hmmm… I thought you heard the chicken’s ghost
haha 
Simon
Nah
that’s my hungry stomach making digital effect noises for next food 
Jessica E. Larsen
Simon
Jessica E. Larsen
Simon
Jessica E. Larsen
shankjoejoe
I give you props for posting this painful story. Guilt is unhealthy. Writing is a great way to expedite the healing process. I hope you’ve allowed yourself to do just that.
Jessica E. Larsen
I’ve long forgiven myself. But as I used to say, the pain heals, but the memory remains. Yes, writing also is a way to elevate the hurt
Tippy Gnu
This does give new meaning to the saying about loving something to death, as you indicate in your first paragraph. Maybe there’s a lesson here, because sometimes people do the same thing to other people they love. They shelter them to the point of confining them, and crush their spirit. We have to step back and let each other be free to breathe and live.
Jessica E. Larsen
Yes, it did give a new meaning in loving them to death haha
It’s true though, sheltering others (often parents toward their children) and breaking them instead of protecting.
And to be honest I didn’t have such a noble meaning behind sharing this. But I feel so proud you pointed out something like that.
Tippy Gnu
Perhaps you don’t realize just how wise you are.
Jessica E. Larsen
Now, you’re being too kind for giving me a lot of credits Tippy. But I’ll take it. Thank you
popsiclesociety
Oh no….you were cruellest…poor bird
but and there’s a but….you did not know and you did not do it intentionally…I’m very sure that after that moment you did not hug anymore the animals so tight 
Sorry I had to say it
Jessica E. Larsen
I only saw the first line in the preview and my heart broke for a second there
haha 
True. I’m almost scared to hold them tight at all, handling them like eggs.
Dracul Van Helsing
Poor bird.
Jessica E. Larsen
Tushara Olivia
Oh God, this is really sad. But you committed this crime unintentionally and it’s not a trouble at all. People nowadays commit the real crime and don’t even show a slight of repentance. There is nothing offensive from your side Jenny. You are a good soul as we all know.
Jessica E. Larsen
Yeah, I know deep down it wasn’t intentional but the poor bird. But I’ve moved on. I only needed to share it
It means a lot to me .
Thanks for such comforting words Tushara
joyroses13
OH I can imagine how horrible you felt, though it was so not your fault! (((HUGS)))
Jessica E. Larsen
Thanks Carolyn
The me now understand but I can’t help but feel like the 11 year me sometimes. Lesson learned. Life must go on.